Searching for a Faith Experience
For many years my faith was predominately based on information. That is, starting as child and continuing to my early 30’s my faith was exclusively based on my knowledge of God through denominational teachings combined with the ordinances and customs of my faith during those years. The result was that my faith had become stale and largely ineffective until a life crisis prompted a desire in me to renew my faith connection. What followed over the next few decades were a series of “faith experiences” that led me to a new, personal dimension in my faith that had been previously unknown to me. The following is a summary of one of those experiences that radically changed my faith at the time. (The full account is described in the soon to be published book described on this site.)
“As pastor of a small church for seven years I had the opportunity to minister to a terminally ill man. As I sat by his bed one afternoon, I watched several persons come by and express their love and gratitude to him for his contribution to their lives. Many tears were shed by these visitors as they communicated to him how meaningful his investment was to them. The man at this time was verbally unresponsive but was aware and I observed him being engaged with his visitors through eye contact and a slight turn of his head toward them when they spoke. I did not know this man very well and had only met him as a result of his wife visiting my church and inviting me to their home. He offered no evidence of church attendance, religious background, or faith in God during my several visits with him before he became unresponsive. But as I sat there next to his bed on one of his last days on earth, I felt an overwhelming impression that this man had done well with his life in the eyes of God. This impression conflicted with several principles that I had been taught about God and His judgement of our lives my whole life. I did not go there that day in search of any deeper understanding of my faith. I went there with the only thought being of one last opportunity to share my understanding of my faith with this man. As I sat there with this new sense of understanding welling up in me, simultaneously these counter arguments began to be rehearsed in my mind screaming “This can’t be right!” It cannot be so!” “This is your imagination!” Soon this overwhelming impression that seemed to rise from my heart was pouring out through my soul and felt so compelling that I had to speak in the faith of the moment. I looked into this man’s eyes and spoke the words to him that I believed that God was pleased with his life and that he had done well. At that moment all those arguments in my head vanished and I was never surer of anything I had done as a pastor than I was in that moment. In that moment when my eyes were locked with this dying man’s eyes, I felt we were looking into each other’s souls. At that moment I was filled with what I have come to know as the peace of heart that confirms when my actions become aligned with my faith. What I believe happened that day was the peace of God I was experiencing by exercising my faith in speaking to that man at that moment somehow transferred the peace of God to that man when he needed it the most. Why? Because I am sure he was afraid. I believe he found himself in that intersection of the natural with the supernatural. I believe he was fearful. Who wouldn’t be in those circumstances? I believe whatever faith reserve he may have had was long gone at that moment. He needed some access to a faith reserve so that he could receive the peace of God at that moment…the assurance that he was not alone, and everything was going to be all right. I believe that while he was realizing what was happening in the moment, it took me years to realize what had happened. All I know is that something happened to my faith from that day forward, the evidence of things unseen.”
I encourage anyone who feels stuck in their faith to seek a fresh experience from God. It will only increase the faith that is already in you. “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” Mathew 7:7 (NKJV)
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